The Uncle Explains Why

A nephew recently said: “Uncle, you don’t seem to like Ralph Caruso.  Why is that?”

 
The truth is that it really isn't personal.  What I don’t like is what Ralph would do if he ran our town.
 
There was a time, not too long ago, when Ralph had a good deal of control over what happened here, and he used that control very badly.  He ran, and still does, the Woodbury Republican Committee.  And unlike most other political committees, Ralph's meetings are held in secret.  Politicians he helped elect were told that they were to check in with him on issues of importance to be instructed on how to vote.  

He also led the Zoning Board of Appeal and saw to it that a majority of the board's members were his followers.
 
He ruled through fear.  If you displeased him then you or your spouse or your brother-in-law or your cousin who worked for the town might suddenly be out of a job.  Ralph had his little eyes and ears all over and if someone said the wrong thing in their hearing, very quickly Ralph would know and you would find out if he was displeased almost as fast.
 
He also understood that knowledge was power and wanted to control that knowledge as tightly as possible.  When he was pushing for the creation of the Village of Woodbury he tried as hard as he could to prevent any public forum on the subject that he didn't control.  And at the forum he did control he presented half truths and out-right misinformation. 
 
With Ralph, all his mistakes are forgotten.  All bad ideas are made to retroactively disappear.
 
Ralph told us that forming a village would protect us from annexation.  When we all learned that wasn't so, suddenly Ralph had never said it.  Ralph loudly and repeatedly insisted that the Woodbury Fire Department would be unaffected by our becoming a village.  When that was shown to be false, history changed.  Time and again the pattern was: put out false information, shout down any disagreement and, after the fact, deny any of that took place.
 
Another problem is that while Ralph is, at best, of average intelligence, he is convinced of his own staggering genius.  And there is no way that his little band of sycophants will tell him anything to the contrary.  Former town board member Michael Aronowitz, before he finally broke free, used to call Ralph “the brilliant one.”   He wasn't being sarcastic, merely blind.
 
To which you might well say: “Gee Uncle, maybe you aren't nearly as bright as you think you are either.”  And that might be true.  But luckily for all of us, I’m not interested in running anything more complicated than this blog.
 
I was more than happy to ignore Ralph while he was ignoring us.   I look forward to his going back to being a ridiculous little man of no consequence to anyone.  But if he wants to take over Woodbury, then I’m one of many who is going to object.